When I was younger I never really cried at movies. My stepmother on the other hand bawled like a baby all the time. One movie in particular, Stepmom, she cried so hard we had to stop the movie till she could regain her composure. Now I will say my stepmother is someone who is very in touch with her emotions, however, there was another element in play. The ability to relate and connect to the main character in a very real and personal way.
I never put much thought to it honestly, growing up, why I never cried at movies, I just figured I was one of those people who didn’t. Turns out it was a combination of being young and inexperienced, paired with a lack meaningful gay representation.
I was once again reminded of how powerful and moving representation can be recently while lying on the living room floor with my boyfriend, watching music videos. As we laid there enjoying each other’s company, he put on Symphony by Clean Bandit. It was a song I was very familiar with and had listened to on repeat on many occasions. At that moment though I had never actually seen the accompanying music video.
At first I didn’t understand what I was watching, but as the song and story unfolded, I realized it was a gay love story. At times tragic, and heart breaking, but with a building and uplifting crescendo that kept me mesmerized till the end when it culminated a celebration of love. By then I was in tears. It was touching, it was meaningful, & it was very, very, relatable.
I could see myself in the protagonist. I could understand the journey he was taking & what it meant to him. I loved it so much.
The beauty of the story was its simplicity. It was about two people, two men, in love & the love they shared. That’s it. There wasn’t a social justice context. They weren’t fighting the world at large to prove they had a right to “be”. They just…were. While we need the former, it bears repeating we need the latter as well. Processing emotions is hard enough without having to constantly be reminded we must fight the world at large as well.
Seeing yourself represented in stories, in music, in the media, it reminds you, you’re not alone. That you’re connected to the rest of the world by mutual experiences. Stories are how we learn to understand and make sense of the world. That is why representation is so important. It provides an individual the opportunity to see themselves reflected.
I understand now why my stepmother was so moved by that movie. It took me many years and a little bit of growing up, but I get it now. When you can relate to the characters and stories, you can see yourselves in them & empathize with their emotions, because you’ve felt those very same feelings yourself. It’s powerful. To be able to understand not only the joys & the laughs, but the pain and sorrow too. It’s a reminder that we’re human.
-Always in Love, Poly Guy 1
