People & relationships in my life ebb & flow. One moment it feels as if they will always be by my side & always have been. The next the tides of time and commitments have pulled us apart. Sometimes dramatically as if yanked away by a roaring riptide & yet other times almost without notice. As if we’re both coasting along the same current, but somewhere along the way the currents veered and we begin drifting further and further apart. Regardless of the manner in which it occur, just because we drifted apart, does not mean we won’t wend our way back together some time in the future.
There are those relationships that drift apart & people become estranged. That is another topic entirely, which for now we’ll set aside. There are other relationships, where for one reason or another one party is unable to commit as much time or attention & over time, for a period of time the engagement tapers off. It can be for any number of reasons, health, a career, family, a pandemic. Sometimes we all need a moment to realign our focus on immediate priorities. A chance to bring equilibrium back to our lives when one area takes a nose dive off the deep end.
This pandemic has presented a very clear example of this. At the risk of sounding overly dramatic. My social network has crumbled over the course of this pandemic. There are a few relationships I have maintained & even one or two I’ve built brand new. These I am eternally grateful for. There are quite a few, however, including those previously noted that have suffered over the course of these past few months. Like everyone, at one point or another my emotional & social resources have been drained. The effect, of course, is that my world gets a little bit smaller. Does it mean I don’t care for all the individuals I used to talk to, that I don’t any longer or maybe less frequently? Far from it, it pains me that I’m not able to keep up with everyone.
As I mentioned in the beginning though, the people in our life ebb & flow. This time is not any different, in that regard. When we emerge from this pandemic and the world begins to open again, as my energy sources are replenished, I will begin to reach out again. I’ll begin to rebuild those connections again. There’s no guarantee for reciprocity, but I do hope the bonds that I have built before this chaos, will be strong enough to weather the storm. What I hope to find is the person I knew before and to hear how they’ve grown and what they’ve experienced in the interim. It will be a chance to bond over shared, but separate experiences. Maybe we’ll laugh, we’ll no doubt shed a tear or two, but at the end of the day, the relationship will be stronger for it.
This pandemic is an extreme & tragic example of a life event. The truth of the matter is we can drift apart as easily for a positive reason as a negative one. A child’s birth, a new spouse, a new job. Sometimes we need a moment to focus on what is in front of us. Sometimes we need a chance to venture out and grow on our own. Sometimes we get to be part of that person’s journey and share in the grief or the joy it brings, other times maybe not. In the instances where, we can’t be part of the journey, in the relationships that matter, take solace in the tides, they ebb and flow. In time those people you care about and who care about you will find their way back or vice versa. The time will come when you once again drift on the same currents.
-Always in Love & Always Adrift, Poly Guy 1
