It’s a new year, filled with opportunities, adventures, and enjoyment. We all have our set of New Year’s Resolutions and this year is no different. While there are many things to resolve in the new year, we thought it was best to equip you with suggestions on how to begin your journey to polyamory. How to learn more about it? Disclaimer: What worked for us might not work for you, here’s our insights on how we started our poly exploration.
However you found out about polyamory: through trial and error of relationship styles with a partner, on a date, through a reading, or various other activities; it is likely to be a valuable resource. If your exposure was a person, they probably had similar inquiries at first about polyamory and can help navigate your exploration.
For myself, it wasn’t until I met the gaymer that I even considered polyamory as a lifestyle choice. While he was open and patient with all my question, he recommended reading More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory. As the title mentions, it is a more reasonable resource through polyamory with their experiences and research. It is not the only highly-rated polyamory book though. It’s predecessor, The Ethical Slut, provides a more philosophical voice on the matter.
More Than Two does provide a glossary of poly terms and a variety of resources for the reader. One section discussed on how to find other poly people because there is no such thing as a polyamorus bar. The book mentioned that OKCupid was a great resource because the app provides a non-monogamy option. Through it I have matched with several other poly people and have met up with some of them. While I have shared my experiences with some of my non-poly friends, they can only listen and try to grasp the concepts. I have learned a lot through listening to people’s shared experience with polyamory. It’s nice to confide in someone who has been in your shoes.
Other methods of finding poly people that have worked include: searching on Facebook, MeetUp, and other online forums and group-based websites. That’s how I discovered Bay Area Poly Happy Hour. They have meetups all over the Bay Area, spanning on various topics and activities. After finding them, I searched the events and found one right in our city, texted my co-conspirator and set plans to go to one of these poly happy hour meetups.
After some light shopping, happy hour drinks, and light de-briefing on each other’s lives; we marched our way to the happy hour. Us being us, we got there right as it started and it was quite dead. The full-bar restaurant was one open space with a variety of lounge and seating options. It was hard to tell who was there for the meetup and who was there for drinks and food. To kill time (and nerves) we got drinks and sat on the central couch, where we met a straight poly couple. We exchanged hellos and ended up spending the evening talking about our journey.
These are just some of our helpful avenues I’ve ventured into to find more poly people. My co-conspirator and I do not have all the answers to all poly questions but hope through our experience, we can insight further inquiry in your own questions.
