Happy Pride everyone. As many of you have no doubt experienced in SF, it was a very different kind of Pride today than one has come to associate with such a joyous celebration. For obvious (and valid) reasons, people have had no choice but to find new and creative ways to participate this year.
In my tenure in San Francisco, I’ve walked in, I think two parades. Of those two parades and the numerous block parties at City Hall afterwards, there are a few things I remember. For starters the sheer volume and energy that coalesces in one place cannot be understated. The cast of characters is beyond imaginable, shapes sizes, age, dress, gender, all walks were celebrated. Scaling back even further however, to an even more personal level than all of that. What I remember is, it is one of the few times my fiance has felt/feels comfortable enough to hold my hand in public and do it without caution or hesitation, but instead with confidence. I cannot begin to express how satisfying and warming it is to see him, just breathe and let go of the constant burden he carries.
I will not lament here on the unfairness of it all, that such a simple act represents a monumental moment. That I assure you cannot be understated. Yet, Pride is just as much about fighting the fight, as it is about celebrating life and who we are. There is a silver lining to every cloud. For Pride it’s that I get an opportunity to see those around me express themselves in ways that they might not feel comfortable doing, whether from a (real) fear of retribution or from nervousness or shyness. The power that is Pride to embolden individuals to find their voice, speak their truths, and be comfortable in their own skin has no comparison. It’s a chance to show the world that what you see in yourself, what you know to be true, is normal & has a place in this world. I get to see that when I see my partner stand tall and smile at the crowds as he walks with me. There’s pride (no pun intended) in his stance, that’s not always there in the day today or maybe a etter way to say it. Is it gets magnified and unburied in moments like these.
Less the world thinks my fiance as someone who is wholly a beaten and battered-down individual. The truth is, maybe a little at times. The other truth is, for many of us, that’s also true too. If someone were to unfold our lives they would find a patchwork quilt. A collection of beautiful moments & memories, but among the patchwork there would be scars. Odd stitchings where we had to put ourselves back together. Holes where we couldn’t. That is the price many of us must pay for being true to who we are.
Life is not fair, we should not have to fight so hard to be seen or heard or demand to be treated as normal. Life however is never fair, but we will fight on and celebrate anyways. Pride is a reminder of that. Pride is a reminder that it doesn’t always have to be an uphill battle, that it’s ok to just be you, but that when you need to fight the fight, you won’t be doing it alone, not by a long shot. Pride is a reminder of the future I want to have, where I can hold my fiance’s hand in public and not have him feel afraid.
Creative solutions or full-scale parades, it matters not. The important part is we celebrate the occasion, as a day for us & for the ideals Pride embodies.
