Category: Nicknames

I’ve had an infatuation with nicknames since I was young, it started with watching TV shows and watching animated groups of kids referring to each by code names they had created together.  That infatuation has carried over into my adult life.  A number of people in my life have one.  It is rarely something that can be forced.  More something that occurs over time, inspired often by the relationship itself and the experiences that define it.

I call my Fiance, Handsome, because one day it occurred to me I didn’t tell him he was near as much as I thought I should.  If I always referred to him as such, then he would be constantly reminded.  My co-conspirator I refer to as Mama Bear, because on more than one occasion, I have traipsed behind this individual through a dark and crowded dance floor as he attends to the others in the group.  Regardless if he’s one or four drinks in, he always has tabs on the others, an admirable quality.  My boyfriend I refer to as Jellybean & he refers to me as Skittlez.  On my phone is a photo folder called the Mars Bars Candy Co, in which we share photos.  Why we refer to each other by such names.  I can’t even begin to tell you.  I have not the slightest clue where they come from; they just seem to fit us. I could list a dozen others that have come and gone over time.  Sunshine, Bug, Tater-Tot, Tim Tam, Boo Boo, Dude, Whitey Wack, Hubs, Friend….Each one of these nicknames is tied to a person, a time, a place, & a well of emotions & memories.  Some of them were mine and some of them belonged to the other individual.

For myself, I’ve always enjoyed the uniqueness these nicknames imbue. Again I’ve never tried to force a nickname.  Those times I have, it has almost always failed and, in fact, felt forced.  When they happen organically over time, sometimes, I don’t even realize they’ve manifested. Then I will refer to that person by their nickname when speaking to an outside individual and in return get a confused look.  To those outside of the dynamic these nicknames hold no symbolism or meaning. They may be seen as cute or cheesy, but some descriptors fail to capture the depth and meaning built into these nicknames.  

Nicknames are a manifestation of who that person is to me and the bond we’ve developed.  That connection is something that can only be developed over time, which is not to say the duration must be long, but meaningful and/or impactful. Each nickname is unique, they’re often only applicable & usable by those with-in the relationship. If that were ever unclear, try calling someone by a nickname you know they go by, but you don’t use for them yourself.  Chances are it will feel odd on your tongue.

In the end nicknames are a way for me to express my affection and to build a connection with others.  To me the vocabulary makes sense.  I know for others, nicknames don’t hold as large an import.  And that’s ok. The important lesson here is that we find ways to express our affection that is true to who we are.   

-Always in Love, Poly Guy 1

Welcome back, due to recent events The Poly Guys will be (for the foreseeable future) releasing new material every two weeks. Don’t worry though that just means we will have more time to craft our stories for you to enjoy. 

Let’s begin… The first thing that comes to mind when I think of nicknames is the movie rendition of Tango: Maureen, from Rent. A lyric from that song, “has she ever pouted her lips and called you pookie,” rings in my ear. What is the significance of a nickname? How does it happen? Does a recycled nickname diminish its value? These are only a few questions that come to mind with this topic. 

At some point in time, we’ve all had some sort of nickname bestowed upon us. Whether these names were given to by family members, friends, or lovers; they exist as a form of endearment. Some of these names, such as “babe” or “love,” can be quite common in an intimate circle of friends. It can also signify our affection toward a person as well. Articles have pointed out that relationships can benefit from pet names for their significant other. Nicknames can be important because it is almost like an inside joke with someone.

Nicknames can be forged out of a person’s name, related to a shared experience, or something else entirely. My own experience with nicknames has been interesting. The most used nicknames for myself have either been a shortened version of my first name. And yes, I’ve been subjected to names such as: babe, love, cutie, baby, and many others. In most cases their purpose was positively correlated to the relationship dynamic between a person and I. 

To be honest, nicknames have never been my strong suit. Though like my co-writer wrote, a shared experience has streamlined the process. The most recent nickname I gave was Baby Cub, due to receiving Mama Bear by my co-conspirator. Names stemmed from night like no other. The grand soiree leading up to the Folsom Street Fair weekend: Aftershock. It was a circuit party, which is LGBT related dance party leading into or following the main event. A group of us gathered to celebrate and dance the night away. After some time, my instincts kicked in and I made my rounds to make sure everyone was doing well, if they needed anything. I saw the name fitting my personality and willingly accepted it.

Using common nicknames doesn’t detract from their meaning. The common names, such as: baby, babe, love, sweetie, handsome, and many more, are too broad to make such claims of overuse or being disingenuous. These are cute nicknames that are often used in various stages of a relationship. Such nicknames have an attached meaning. Just like I wouldn’t say I love you to every person, I use nicknames for those who matter most.

At the end of the day, we all use nicknames in our own ways for various reasons. Let us know what nicknames work for you.  And as always, stay safe, stay healthy, and as always, like, share, and subscribe to our blog for new insights into happiness, heartbreak, and everything else that comes with our exploration of polyamory.

 -Your Friendly Poly Guy 2