As a youngster, in a suburban city with 4 gay bars at the time, there were few opportunities to involve myself in the LGBTQ community that didn’t include alcohol. Granted I didn’t have the proper resources or knowledge at the time to research LGBTQ events for teens. After high school, I struggled to make genuine connections with other gay people beyond the premise of sex or a relationship. Gay friends were hard to come by. It wasn’t until community college that I made my first true gay friend, the Accountant.
When I moved up to San Francisco, I made it a goal to find a community of my own. While, yes, that included dating various “interesting” guys; I eventually built a rapport with a group of gay guys. They were established in their careers and gathered for weekly happy hour at various bars throughout the city. I owe a great deal to them because they taught me how to carry myself, sparked interest with the gay softball league in the City, and helped craft a footing into my identity.
I spent the past year going to more LGBTQ events for occasions such as: Pride, Dore Alley, and Folsom Street Fair. Before, it’d just be a group of us that would bar hop on such event weekends. And for several years that one aspect satisfied my thirst for community involvement. I eventually realized that while it was a part of the event culture, I was missing out on something more.
LGBTQ events have been also played a role in the creation of who I am. They provide a safe space, where I can be myself without the hassle or filters brought on societal norms. These types of events were built to be inclusive for the community and their allies.
One of my favorite events that I’d like to share was Bearacuda, a party during Folsom Street Fair weekend. It was a hot mess of guys dancing, grinding and other things that shouldn’t be mentioned. The event space hosted a variety of social gatherings for all types of communities in San Francisco. The multi-level venue had several bars and three dance areas inside. The first was the main stage, with a balcony surrounding three-sides of it and playing a variety of EDM music. Off to the side of the balcony was another room, smaller and pumping out some good vibes with remixes of 80’s to today’s top hits. Outside they provided a smoking area and a silent disco.
As the name infers it was a bear event, filled with “bears, cubs and other wildlife” of all shapes and sizes. Founded in 2006, in San Francisco, Bearracuda is known as “the largest bear party in the U.S,” according to their website. We came with a small group of friends and eventually found more friends, who we didn’t know were going to be there, to form a gaggle of gays. We partook in drinks, dancing, and conversations with cute guys. My favorite part was getting on stage and jamming out with some random people who were dancing to the beat of the music. I adore such events because they celebrate body positivity among the gay community. A community that is well-known for maintaining unrealistic beauty standards.
Through these events, I have built a community of friends that… have shaped my outlook on life. They have brought insight and exposure on facets such as: throuples, polyamory, body positivity, rope play, and puppy play. It taught me: “Don’t yuck someone else’s yum.” I don’t dismiss someone else’s lifestyle because it doesn’t align with mine. Stayed tuned for next week’s post that will delve into polyamory and sex. Don’t forget to like and comment with any topic that is a part of your poly journey.
-Your Friendly Poly Guy 2
