Hello y’all, it’s been some time since we last posted. We realize that we are living in a difficult time with the covid-19 pandemic. It has been a little over a week since San Francisco and surrounding counties have placed a shelter in place order on their residence. While some of us thrive in a social distanced environment, there are others that struggle to keep social interaction and mental health up.
Personally, working from home has been nice, I have been able to do more without a 40-minute commute to and from work. It gives me more time to focus on other hobbies, exercise, and self-care routines. As an extrovert, it’s been daunting to know that the energy I use to receive from social engagements is now put on hold. Some of our friends do recharge their “batteries” by reading or alone time, which is great for them. I get to be on the other side of the introvert-extrovert spectrum. Instead of asking my friends to come out, they are the ones who are enjoying their time indoors. While this is a necessary measure to prevent the spread of coronavirus, for some, being confined at home (and little outdoor activity) can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation.
How do we connect when we cannot physically see our friends, family, loved ones? Well luckily we live in the 21st-century, where technology has surpassed the Nokia phones and dial-up internet era we grew up in. I remember skyping high school friends during my first year of college. It was amazing to have the technology to virtually see them helped destress being so far away from them and contributed to my overall well-being. Due to technology, while we can’t be there physically, we can be together emotionally or mentally.
One way for us to connect with our peers is through Zoom, an online communication app used for video conferencing. One of my friends has been using it for their spring courses at university. It was great being able to chat with friends and see their expressions as I updated them on my weekly revelations. We all admitted it felt like our college dorm room days, using the twitchy Oovoo app as we caught up over snacks (and now drinks). The shared laughter and updates made the night better with friends, who at some points I use to see weekly. This app helped create some sense of normalcy in a not so normal situation.
I have used Zoom more this past weekend than I could ever imagine. From a social happy hour to connecting with others for a live dance party, this is a tool that can make a person feel less alone when reality starts to settle in.
In retrospect to polyamory, and relationships in general, some of us are fortunate to live with our paramours and or have housemates to ease our social parameters. For others though that may not be the case. In any scenario, during these difficult times we should reach out and make time to those people in our lives who matter. Communication is key. Not for your own well-being but for your partner(s) as well, talk to them: about their feelings, needs and wants. When physical touch is not available, it is important to look at other avenues (such as emotional and mental connections) to nourish a relationship to let them feel loved and supported.
We as people learn to adapt in situations. Like indoor plants, some of them need lots of sun, while others do well in low light levels and interaction. We must figure out what works best for ourselves and position ourselves in optimal situations to receive the most care for ourselves.
Reading articles have altered my perception of these times. Some relationships will go through a series of new complications due to restrictions, while others (such as long distances) for the most part will seem unchanged. This isn’t the first time, nor the last time that physical distance has put stain on a relationship. Some friends’ routines are unaffected as they still chatting with their partner(s) via text, phone calls, and video calls. While we have to put a hold on face-to-face contact with others, doesn’t mean we can’t make time and effort to our loved one. Stay safe, stay healthy, and as always, like, share, and subscribe to our blog for new insights of happiness, heartbreak, and everything else that comes with our exploration of polyamory.
-Your Friendly Poly Guy 2
